Waking Up in the Morning

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.

- Courtney Kuchta -

Make It Happen

Came across a dance movie which i borrowed from my sis few months back. Titled "Make It Happen" and watching the movie allows me to reflects on our daily lives. As the way we normally lead our lives have it's way, we human always what for things to happen.

Often, we would wait for the right timing, the right moment, the right opportunity and so often, things and moments pass by without us realizing it. And often when things pass us by, we never revisited our dreams and make effort to chase and regain the things that we had so much wanted earlier.

It is so true that our human nature always wait for things to happen rather than make it happened. So much that i wanted to do to make things happen as destiny is always within our own hand. Every actions we do today will bears the outcome of our life directions in the future. Therefore, it's always good to remember that we chart our our life. You may be born poor and unloved. That is not our choice. But if we died poor, unloved and full of regret for not making things happen, than my fren, that is by our own choice through decisions we make in our life journey because we wait for things to happen.

So there are things that we shouldn't wait for it to happen. We should make it happen if we really wants it badly enough. Speaking of that, i'm really craving for food now. Gonna indulge in food today!!!

Stay - Ronan Keating

The Gift of Confidence

A nice positive poem shared by my dearest Sis in July 2003. Thank you sis.

It's positive living, believing in the best,
expecting your plans to work out,
It's trusting you'll find all the answers you need,
It's patience in moments of doubt.

It's thinking about an "imposibble" goal,
and telling yourself you can do it,
It's taking the most precious dream in your heart,
and finding a way to pursue it.

It's knowing you have something special to offer -
your own unique talents to share,
It's taking a bright, optimistic approach,
that can open new doors anywhere.

-Emily Matthews-

Silent Prayer

Normally, i would seek for strength and courage from you. But if you give the strength and courage to pull through this one, seriously i'm not sure if those alone would be enough to see thru this one. The pieces will be too shattered to ever put back together. Nevertheless, i really thank you for bringing this to me, for allowing me to fully understand the meaning that i'm seeking for, and above all, for showing that the very thing that i seek for and believe in, really does exist in this world.

SECRET LOVERS By: Atlantic Starr

SECRET LOVERS By: Atlantic Starr

Here we are, the two of us together
Takin’ this crazy chance to be all alone
We both know that we should not be together
‘Cause if we’re found out, it could mess up
Both our happy homes

I hate to think about us all meeting up together
‘Cause as soon as I look at you it will show on my face, yeah
Then they’ll know that we’ve been loving each other
We can’t let ‘em know, no, no, no
We can’t leave a trace

Secret lovers, yeah, that’s what we are
We should not be together
But we can’t let go, no, no
‘Cause we love each other so
Ooh…ooh…

Sittin’ at home, I do nothin’ all day
But I think about you and hope that you’re okay
Hopin’ you’ll call before anyone gets home
I wait anxiously alone by the phone

How could something so wrong be so right
I wish we didn’t have to keep our love out of sight, yeah
Living two lives just ain’t easy at all
But we gotta hang on in there or fall

Secret lovers, yeah, that’s what we are
Tryin’ so hard to hide the way we feel
‘Cause we both belong to someone else
But we can’t let go
‘Cause what we feel is, oh, so real
So real, so real

You and me, are we friends
Is this cool or do we care
Can they tell what’s in our minds
Maybe they’ve had secret loves all of the time

In the middle of making love we notice the time
We both get nervous ‘cause it’s way after nine
Even though we hate it, we know it’s time that we go
We gotta be careful so that no one will know

Secret lovers, yeah, that’s what we are
Trying so hard to hide the way we feel
‘Cause we both belong to someone else
But we can’t let go
‘Cause what we feel is, oh, so realS
o real, so real, so real, so real

Lost and Found

Recently, i lost something. That was the 2nd time i lost it. And finally i found it.


Well, not everything that was lost can be found and recovered. Therefore, one should be too concerned over what was lost after a lapse of time and should instead focus on what was right infront before you lost it too.


Cheers to those who always found what was lost, because the searching period is awful and it's sucks if the thing is of value to you. For money can buy the same thing, but off this value.

Life is not a business plan, but a journey through nature

Recently, someone who was used to be closed to me told me that she thought she know me. But in the end, she doesn't know me at all. Purely for the reason that i've been to upclose to myself that i keep everything within me.


Suddenly i recalled that over a year, when i left my previous company, my director back then told me the same thing too. He flew down all the way from KL but to no avail despite trying his best to ask me to rescind the resignation. In the end, he just gave up as he says he failed to connect to me, to understand me and to kow what i was thinking.


Come to think of it, i'm seriously glad that there are people who are upfront enough to let you know your weakness despite that you've chosen to omit them out. I came to evaluate my journey of life on since when did i start become who i am today.


Through experience, when you enjoy your life, revealing every single thing about yourself, trust in everyone you called friend, and live the moment, there's when you're most happy. However, i guess it takes just one, yes only one betrayal to change everything.


No doubt that everyone you meet are different, and deserve an equal chance to gain the trust. However, seems that trust doesn't come that easily anymore. It has to be gained. The things is, does this new person deserved to be treat in such a way merely because of the past events? Honestly, i doesn't know. Hope someone can let me know.


Rather than living my live, i've been strategizing like just like a business plan. With vision, goal, direction, competition and objective. Achievements and success i've gained, however, emptiness was deep and apparent. That is because after each achievement, you're without directions. Then again, you draft some new goals, objectives and etc...


Live life as it is. Enjoy the beauty of nature and gods' creation as you walk pass by. It you like the stream, stop by and take a dip. If you see a beautiful plant and you like it, shower it with tender loving care. Doing such things won't stop you from reaching you're destination. However, it does makes you're journey more wonderful and memorable.


Let things be natural and accept what may comes for what may comes is what was meant to be.

When things changed, it'll never be the same again.

Wow... 2mths since last blog. Been another hectic period of juggling studies, work and lots of self doubts. Sometimes just seriously wondering is that i'm wearing a size too big! hahaha.. but then again, guess it's just all a mindset. If you think you can't, then you definitely can't.

So far, past 2mths, have been getting a bit lazy. 4days to assignment submission, but then i'm still not done... n above all, not working on it. Well, we change to continously adapt. But surprisingly i ain't changing for the better.

Haha... woke up this morning, wondering what the date was... wow, June 14, the year is half way thru. Looking back past 6mths, plenty of things have changed. Good or bad, no one knows. Only time will tell. What we've done, is something we can't changed. But what we can do, is plan for a new change for the wrongs and make sure the next 6mths is better than the past 6mths.

Thanks... My friends

Yes, the semester is getting nearer to its end. After many distractions, delays and self doubts, 1 sem is finally going to be over. Just another 4 more to go.

It's been tough months, not mainly due to the nature of the program, but rather due to personal mental strength. However, as the semester progresses on, i believe the mental strength is getting stronger and having more believe in myself and ability.

This achievement, i have to say, thanks to the many wonderful friends that i have been blessed with. They have been a huge encouragement to me whenever i lost hope and near to giving up. Through them, i've learn to believe in myself, to never stop believing and that things will eventually find it's way through.

I hope i won't disappoint all of you.

Thank you very much for being there and for all the inputs and encouragements and spiritual supports.

March... Eye opening month

Been missing a while. Checked back and realised that the last post was 2nd March, some 20over days ago. March has been a busy period, but yet it's a month that with many wonderful experiences, eye opening period.

Since 2nd March, was rather tight down with "Partners Agaisnt Poverty" which was held on 7 March. It was a collaboration between state government with various private institution to raise the poverty line in Penang to RM500 income per family, especially on the outskirts of Penang. i seriously can't imagine how families survive with a merge income of less than RM400 per month. I for one who doesn't support donations and charity in monetary kind, there should be more concerted effort from all walks of life to ensure that everyone deserves a better living environment. Various big organizations could adopt these families by ensuring the families' welfare are taken care off and these childrens are give proper educations. Rather than spending money on some publicity stunts or building iconic round-a-bouts, those money can be put to a better use. The PAP event, success it was as RM 1.15millions were collected after 3weeks of hard work, thanks to some 180companies that contributed towards the fund.

Soon after, attended an annual dinner of one of the local political party. As usual, in such an event, all the talks were of those criticizing one another, especially towards the oposition party. Nevertheless, was great to see those politicians in person and hear them out in person rather than read something twisted from the newspaper.

At the same time, GG also requested to revisit our shelved business plan as again, opportunity arises. We have gone and visit various identical business plans and monitor the sentiments of the market. Surprisingly, even in such an economy sentiment, pubs and cafes were 60% filled throughout the weekdays. But then again, we concluded that we'll continue to wait for the next opportunity for it's worth waiting for the right opportunity rather than jump at every opportunity.

The best part of all, during these hectic 3weeks, i managed to squeeze in 3 assignments. It was a real challenge to juggle between work and studies, and on top of that with so many events in between. I guess, from the hard way, i did learn something about procastination and time management. Though i managed to pull through everything just in time, guess things could have been better. I must thank somebody though, Cat, thanks for all your wonderful inputs, ideas and suggestions towards my assignments. You've been there to kick my ass and pushed me when the chips are down. Hopefully, i'm better motivated in my next assignments.

When people says "a friend in need is a friend indeed". Guess that is true. I was blessed with many friends who has been there one way or another. Thanks to all my friends.

I Can, I know that I Can, and I'll show that I Can

Knowing you can, is never good enough. Unconsciously, we aren't always aware of what we can or what we can capable off. Write down you goals, plans your means towards achieving them, share your dreams with your love one, say it out aloud every other days. These are actions that will constantly drive you towards your goals and dreams. We need the help of others to achieve and fulfil our dreams. And those people, our love ones, are the reason why we have dreams and goals in the first place. Goals that doesn't includes others are meaningless even when you achieve them.

I remember this quote, from Datuk Lawrence Chan Wing Kum when i attended his motivation seminar 9years ago. "Everyone is a born winner. Many years ago when our parents made love one night, among the thousand millions of sibblings, we are the one that outswim the others to reach the egg. Therefore, we are a winner."

So, a winner doesn't quit and a quitter doesn't wins. We are born winner. We just need to be reminded of that. We just need to visualise and share our hope and dreams with others. So don't be selfish, share our dreams and eventually our success, achievement and happiness with our love ones.

If know you can, tell them you can, show them you can. Don't just keeps everything to yourself. Let them helps to keep you motivated. And course, regularly cite "I can, i know i can and i'll show that i can".

How Many Hours of Sleep Do We Need?

Is there a specific amount of sleep duration we need? 8hrs? 7hrs? 6hrs? No one knows. It varies among individuals. Some can even afford 4hrs of sleep a day!

Now, i start to think that 8hrs may not actually be necessary. It may that be the duration that matters, but rather the quality of sleeps that you get is more vital. Past few days, i've only slept for 6hrs a day due to some unforseencircumstances. Nevertheless, it's a quality 6hrs without interuption til 6a.m. Not sure why myself, but regardless whatever time that i sleep, i'll wake up at 6am and goes back to sleep if it's not a working day. Despite sleeping for only 6hrs, i felt fresher and more energetic than before. Maybe it's due that i manage to sleep soundly without worries or thoughts running through my head for the past 2days. It's something that i'm glad with, and hope that i'll manage to learn more on getting quality sleep rather than long hours of sleep with interuptions in between. Let's see if i'll manage to maintain this new found happiness with quality sleep or revert back to the Royal Pig (nick by a friend, LP) mode.

Temptations, frustrations.....

Temptation, frustration....and ultimately, reaction. The 2 emotion that make greatmen falls. Acts of sins without careful thoughts will bring negative consequences. Nevertheless, once commited, one needs to take full responsibilities over the action. Learn from the mistakes, learn to handle future temptations, future frustrations. Wisemen make mistakes, but never the same mistakes twice.

I pray that i'm strong enough to resist the temptations and that i'm able to contain the frustration before the walking time-bomb in me explode at the wrong time over the wrong issues. Please, no more temptation for i've changed too many company in the past years and no more frustrations for the frustrations are results of my inability to contain temptations.

Staying Focus

It's easy to make plans, but the hard part would be staying on track till accomplishment of current task at hand. Is there any particular method that helps one to stay focus? If there is, for sure i will want to master it.

Even a small criticism from the side of the court would distract me in a badminton match. From winning the game ends up losing the game in the end. Wonder how am i to juggle the many hats, especially at time of asking.

At times, just felt that i'm taking up way more than i can handle, especially to stay 100% focus on succeeding the task. But then again, i know this is not me. I can handle more than this. It's just the many small distractions that i've let it affect me, keeping me from staying focus and excel.

I've done it before, in the past. I managed to keep all the small distractions at bay and stay focus. Where is my hunger to excel now? What has happen to the winning mentality? Has it cave in to laziness? Hope not.

Need to keep the burning desire to excel going on, for the moment we took our eyes off it, we are left behind chasing after the leading pack.

Stay focus and small sacrifices, that's all that i'm asking myself to deliver for i believe the seed planted today will bear fruits one day.

Living in Deniability

Few months ago, SW asked me "Are you afraid of past failures clouding your future successes?" "Are you having great sense of fear over past failures that it has dented you confidence of the future?" I couldn't provide SW with the answers back then, merely due to deniability.

I didn't slept too well last night. Have a dream of the future. Guess the dream woke me up from the fantasy of deniability that i was living in. From the dream, i realised what the future awaits for those who ready to admit their weaknesses and chose reality.

So, SW, yes indeed i'm afraid of moving forward and has been living in fear on that particular aspect. Hope you and The Lord will provide me with courage and strength to move forward, out of this darkness towards a better future that i shall truly deserve.

Simple, Yet We Make It Complicated

As times, it seems that life is actually simple. However, we would like to make it complicated. Is this due to our human nature that we're given a higher thinking brain capacity?

Funny how at times when other couple of newly weds, both working adults can live on a culmulative salary that are on par with our individual earning capacity. The funny thing is, yet they are living happily while we on the other hand, if team up with our other half, are earning more than double of these people. We managed to earn in 6mths what they managed to do in 12months. But yet these people are at times a lot more happy that us. Guess it's due to their simple lifestyle.

Even for relationship, we like to make it complicated. I once read a comment, "Don't make relationship complicated. If you like me, i like you, let's go o a date and see how things goes". Definitely a very simple and straight forward approach. Life would probably be ha'lf stressful today had we kept our relationships simple.

So don't think too far and too far ahead. Keep life simple and enjoy it. Life is a journey, not a destination. Had it been a destination, we would probably be lost and have no idea what to do next once we reach our destination.

Tender, Loving, Care

Got this phrase from a Hong Kong movie titled "L for Loves, L for Lies" starred by Stephy Tang and Alex Fung. Quite a nice movie about relationship for passing time should you have 2hrs with nothing to do.

"Liking a person doesn't mean that we can be together in a relationship. We don't see the flaws of each other until we get into a relationship. And being in a relationship together, it's important that both can accept each other's flaws without expecting either party to change."

Any thought provoked? Well, although in the movie, it was the girl telling the back-up boyfriend that "like" doesn't mean that they are ideal for relationship for they haven't cared much about each others flaws given that the relationship is not real.

For me, there was a sudden thought provoked. It brings back some memories of those potential relationship that stops just at friendship. Hmm... for once, sounds like i shouldn't regret about not bringing those relationship into the next level. Many friends have told me that i should have give it a try, test out first. Otherwise you won't know for sure. Besides, why waste an opportunity that was served on a plate right infront.

I guess the reason is simple. I have high respects for others and myself. Humans are emotional beings, we have feelings and felt greatly towards emotions that touch us, moved us, such as love. Why should we start a relationship with someone just because the opportunity arises. If lots of people start a relationship just opportunity arises, then lots of hearts would break, especially for those irresponsible being that applies "try first, worry later" theory.

Heart and feelings are fragile, that's why TLC (Tender, Loving, Care). Appreciate others, respect others and above all, help others. Don't take opportunity on others in relationship because opportunity arises.

A simple comparison based on my perception,

Like - mostly related to tangibles (looks, appearance, clothing, body-shape, lots of cash, big house)

Love - mostly intangible (how a person makes you feel, personality of a person)

Given that "like" are mostly tangible, it is high-risk should you go into a relationship for this reason. This person looks good today, but if the looks is no longer there. Humans age, accidents happens. Body-shape, would you still like when a "pear shape" turns to "ball shape" after giving birth. Big house, lots of cash. Would the like remains should an about turn due to wrong investments and lost everything?

Wherelse, "love" are intangible aspects. It doesn't change over night. It evolves through things that happens to us, and our environment. Eventhough it evolves, the traits remains. You'll feel the same way towards a person / thing for a long long time.

So there is actually a thin fine line between "like" and "love". Don't confused with them and mess up others' life. Treat others with the respect that you expect to receive in return from others. Love them for who they are and not what they are.

Always remember, "Tender, Loving, Care".

Living our own dreams, or living the dreams of others?

Upbringing is very important in every childhood. It is this process that moulds what they might grow up into. No, i'm not talking about success career or education. But rather success in living a meaningful life, a chosen path of their own rather than being chosen for them.

If one were to look and do a slight observation between the western upbringing culture and oriental upbringing culture, one could easily distinguished how it influenced one's future life. Some may be lucky enough, to travel abroad and see it with their own eyes, but for those who ain't that lucky, like me, we ought to learn from what we get of the tv screen and books off the shelves. This are great opportunities which are abundance should be take note of it.

In the oriental culture, a child was taught about filial-piety, high moral values. To some extent, their future life was chosen for them. Parents placed high hopes on them. Hope that would one day take over the family business. Hope that they would emulate certain cousins or next door kids to become a doctor, engineer, architects, lawyer and many other white collar professions. Anything short, they life would be filled with destructive criticism. In the course of ensuring such successes, the child are routinely exposed to undue pressure and high expectations. Children today are rob of their childhood, while some doesn't even know what it's like to be a child. Kids today, attend school, tuitions, music classes, sports lessons and yet are expected to perform and excel in everything, just like how adults are expected to perform in their career. Here's a reminder, we chosed to be in the job that we're in today. Even if it's shit, we chosed it on our own. But for the kids, they didn't chosed to be under such pressure. It was chosen for them. Parents are moulding their kids to be something that they wanted themselves to be. In short, their kids to live their dreams which they didn't manage to fulfil due to some circumstances. But then, what about the dreams of these children? What is wrong if their chosen path happens to be arts, stage play, filming? It ain't that bad, these careers infact are paying decent monies. In the process of moulding the child, they are indirectly exposes for various stress, frustrations, anger and aggression from the parents. Thus an unhappy childhood filled with burden and sad memories.

On the other hand, the western culture encourages one to be independent. The parents provides the needs, the child have to chase the wants on their own for those are their dreams. Parents provide love, and play the role of a fatherly figure to guide them on the ups and downs of life, not a dictatorship parenthood. As such, a happy child that doesn't grew up surrounded by fears of failures or fears of unable to life up to expectation tends to be more confident in live and decision making. Even if they failed, they live surround by constructive criticism which would help them to stay positive and try till they succeeded.

What the oriental parents need to do is to learn and boost the talents and gifts of their child, rather than hope to mould them into something they are not. A great football can't mould his son into another great football if he doesn't possess the skills and talent. But he may have good taste and talents in composing music. And that doesn't make him useless and thus the parents shouldn't think less of the kid and leave them with useless remarks. Learn to look for the positive side or everything rather than the oppose.

So if you have a child in future, do not mould them to chase you dreams, but rather mould them to chase their dreams. In return, your kids would appreciate your guidance and yet remain filial and comes homes for dinners and holidays even though they are busy and successful or even a somebody. If you mould them to chase you dreams, chances are they would remain filial, but it is because of out duty rather than out of love. I'm sure you who want something than comes from the light heart rather than heavy heart that fills with burden and resposibility.

Ouch... sorry to say this, no wonder old folks homes and elderly care home are businesses are mushrooming and flourishing in Asia. The kids have successfully live their parents dream, white collar job, big bungalow, etc. But yet life is still unfulfilled. And since they now have the money, why not send the elderly parents to a home care so that they can start chasing their own dreams despite it's been shelve for years!

It's never too late to chase one's dream regardless of age. Age is just a numerical number. One's need to fulfil their dreams so that they can rest peacefully knowing they have achieve what they themselves wanted, and not what others wanted from them.

Lighting Hope in Adversity

A Chinese proverb reads, "The flower that blossom in an adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all".

A leader, is one who is more the happy to provide help and guidance to whoever in need. Great leaders aplenty, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, President Roosevelt, Julio Caesar. Lesser known leaders aplenty, our bosses, our parents, our teachers, our friends. Similarly, all of them carries dreams that encompasses others, to give them hopes through testing and challenging times.

I wonder, is there anything that these great leaders ever lose hope in adverisity? Do they ever suspect their own abilities to lead?

Myself, nothing spectacular as these great leaders. But nevertheless still a leader of somewhat. Guiding and providing hope to certain people in needs.

Up above, i'm just like a duck swimming calmly across the lake. Down below, my legs are churning madly just to stay afloat with fear than my feet would stop churning one day and drown. Times are so bad, that my self believe and confidence are thinner by the day, will my feet stop churning and drown myself with all the hopes that was laid on me, i wonder. At times, i did wonder if i've taken more than my plate can accomodate.

The greatest fear is not failure, but rather than failure will drown the hopes of others with me. The burden of living up to expectations is heavy, just hope that i do live up to it.

Someone once told me, assume if the duck is a mice, and the lake is a bowl of cream soup. Mice can't swim but this mouse knew the meaning and purpose of his life. He has a family which he love dearly and want to go home to them. Therefore drowning is not an option. He churns his leg fast enough that the soup starts to thicken, and eventually became thick and solid enough that he can walks on it can escape from the bowl.

A leader is no different from the mouse. A leader needs to know the meaning and purpose of his role in order to leaer effectively. Rather than accept the given adversity, a leader should acknowledge the adverse and try to change it into favorable opportunity to improve and change.

I hope, i may soon stumble upon the serenity to seek the power from within, to turns adversity into hope, before the virus of negativity spread beyond cure through the whole team.

I wished not to be the flower of adversity, but i do wish for a simple inspriration, that will enable everyone to put food daily on the table, with the knowledge that there will still be food on the table for days to come.